The Funny Paper December 2015


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Odd Thoughts

You are so lucky I don't live on Thunder Road because I would spend all day singing people directions to my house.
- Josh Gondelman (@joshgondelman)

On very foggy mornings, I make a fog horn noise either with my mouth or by raping a moose. Whichever is closer.
- T.J. Miller (@nottjmiller)

I am taking an archery class, just in case my wife's head gets attacked by an apple... it's going down.
- Rob Cantrell (@RobCantrell)

Don't let anything stand in your way! Take me for example: I don't let "not knowing what a cappuccino is" stop me from ordering it! Always!
- Emily Heller (@MrEmilyHeller)

looking for a dating website that consists solely of women that have played Assistant District Attorneys on Law & Order.
- Karl Hess (@karlhess)

If you feel like you have bugs under your skin, ask two questions: 1) Do you do meth? and 2) ARE there bugs there maybe?
- Robert Buscemi (@RobertBuscemi)


The Bird Feeder: Tweets from around the funny.

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