During a recent excavation in the Holy Land of Mesopotamia, archaeologist Dr. Peter Franklin Dexter made a discovery that rocked the universe, nay, the entire state of Illinois to its very core. In an ark beneath the firmament was the one true Bible written in the actual hand of God. In it was a heretofore unseen passage that unlocks the Good Truth of our times.
"On the Eighth Day yes, there was one, God said, "Let there be comedy." And God called the comedy Merchandise. And God saw that it was good. And God gave their videos a good rating."