I work at a Japanese restaurant for minimum wage and I've been doing stand-up since 2009. Its all I think about 24/7, well that and vagina.
I entertain strangers with my deadpan delivery of awkward nerdy humor, personal stories, and amazing hair. I enjoy a nice Dr. Pepper cherry, Kim Kardashian, and Big League Chew and dislike flat tires, quicksand, and country music.
Being a ninja would be totally sweet.
Tailgating is always fun.
One day I'll have a time machine... one day.
I lost a bet and had to work at a Waffle House for a month, and wrote this song about my experience.