I am Chris Hardwick. You probably recognize me from TV. You don’t realize that’s where you know me from, but it is. You think you went to college with me or I look like your cousin’s friend, but that is not the case. At one time or another you stumbled across me on your moving picture box in such cerebral gems as MTV’s “Singled Out” and Noam Chomsky’s “Shipmates.” I was also in House of 1000 Corpses, which you were afraid to see because horror films make you pee a little. I made an appearance in Terminator 3: Rise of the Machines, which you may be somewhat reluctant to give me credit for, because I was only in a couple of scenes and I was not a robot.
Recently, I hosted “WIRED Science”, which was amazing, but you didn’t see it because it was on PBS and you’re not a hundred and four. My interest in Sci/Tech began in the mid 90s, when my best friend, Mike Phirman, and I started writing comedy songs about science. I realize that sounds less than hilarious but as Hard ‘n Phirm we did manage to eek out a few chuckles with songs about The Carbon Cycle, Pi, and a series of Country songs themed around science a rarely covered topic in the genre. If that sounds like a snore to you then perhaps you’ll prefer our half-hour Comedy Central special on iTunes or the soundtrack that we wrote for Rob Zombie’s next movie, The Haunted World of El Superbeasto. If not, we’ll quietly go to hell.
Currently, I host “Web Soup” and review gadgetry for “Attack of the Show,” both on the G4 Nerdwork. I also write for Wired Magazine and provide voices for talking animals on Back at the Barnyard on Nickelodeon. Some people like to angrily tell me that my character, Otis, is a male cow with udders and those simply do not exist in Nature. I remind them that animals don’t talk and scheme, either. Several times a year I will get up with a vocal amplifier and tell jokes to strangers in comedy venues. I invite you to come out and see just such an instance by signing up for my email list.