Hey, I was hoping you could help pay off my credit card. And, I was wondering if you could bring some of your delicious peanut butter cookies when you come up. And your Sheperd’s Pie. So good. Oh, and, is there any way I could get a new iPod a few months before Christmas. Wait, there was some other reason I was sending you a card... oh, yeah, Happy Mother’s Day!
Congratulations on getting married
Congratulations (new baby)
Congratulations (early retirement)
Congratulations (coming out of the closet - boy)
Congratulations (coming out of the closet - girl)
Thinking of you (from your stalker)
Welcome to the neighborhood
Wish You Were Here
I Miss You (Babysitter)
Thanks for the (shitty) gift
Sorry for Killing Your Bird
Sorry for Killing Your Cat
Death to Your Stupid Pets
Get Well Soon (You and your Mom)
We're Having a Baby