FEBRUARY 2012

Tweets From The Streets

How do we all resist slapping people in the head when walking by a sidewalk cafe?
- Alex Koll (@alexkoll)

i saw some girls hula hooping in front of a drum circle. it was the most successful and confident public display of rhythm by white people.
- Sheng Wang (@shengwangtime)

You can tell it's a full moon because the homeless guy who sleeps in front of my car is smelling particularly rancid tonight.
- Ari Shaffir (@AriShaffir)

If living in Hollywood has taught me anything, it's that if you see a girl dressed really slutty and she's alone, she probably is/was a dude
- Kyle Kinane (@kylekinane)

 

Saturday, December 31, 2011
"What's the two things they tell you are healthiest to eat? Chicken and fish. You know what you should do? Combine them, eat a penguin." - Dave Attell

Friday, December 30, 2011
"I know I want to have children while my parents are still young enough to take care of them." - Rita Rudner

Thursday, December 29, 2011
"Do Lipton employees take coffee breaks? - Steven Wright

Wednesday, December 28, 2011
You know, somebody actually complimented me on my driving today. They left a little note on the windscreen, it said 'Parking Fine.' - Tommy Cooper

Tuesday, December 27, 2011
Mosquitoes remind us that we are not as high up on the food chain as we think - Tom Wilson