In the third grade I won the "Author of the Month" at St. Mary's School in Shrewsbury, Massachusetts for a poem I wrote about bears and Thanksgiving. At the time my aspirations were to become a poet, a teacher, or the owner of a pizza restaurant where third graders could hang out.
At Georgetown I won the “Funniest Person on Campus" contest and the chance to perform at the D.C. Improv. They were so impressed they hired me to bus tables.
From there I took my jokes to New York City, where I was fired as a temp at Pfizer for repeatedly falling asleep at my desk . I proceeded to drive my mom’s old station wagon to comedy clubs all over America until my mechanic would no longer take my calls.