Gary Gulman, you are my hero! Never has the semicolon been so funny in my life. Guys, Gary speaks the truth here and these are words of wisdom. Heck, ladies may want to follow his advice too because you never know when the semicolon ninjas will sneak up on you and ruin your day.

Completely understand them and completely hate them -- security tags. Greg Morton has the perfect solution for the next time security gives you dirty looks when your freshly purchased merchandise sets off store security alarms. I totally need to build up the guts to do this.

I'm from Phoenix, Arizona and our culture is centered around the mall, arcades and food courts. Just about everyone does their time serving mallrats while avoiding the blazing heat, so this brought back memories.

There's a reason why people look better on MySpace (angles baby) and the world really needs more social networking jokes, because some of it is just pure comedy.

Seriously, American women love British accents. This is absolutely true. I swear, a British guy can say anything to me and I go weak in the knees.

It is a fantasy of mine to spend a year riding around in taxis and interviewing people to capture their best taxi stories. This is one of the best I've ever heard. Also, best song ever to get stuck in your head.