I’m a sucker for Nicotine Patch jokes. And jokes about porn actors who’ve seen better days. Failed hopes and dreams and all that. They’re easy targets, but the jokes always make me laugh. Poor porn stars.

I work in Times Square and see too many tourists, although I do feel for them. I used to come up to New York once a year from Maryland and it was like landing on the moon. To this day, I’ll still stare up at tall buildings. By the way, I saw a comedian a few weeks ago handing out fliers in Times Square and attempting to convince a foreign couple to go see him perform at a show later that night. This is exactly how it went down, no joke: Comedian (pointing): “Hey! Watch out! Dog shit! (turning serious) Ah, I’m just kidding. Where you guys from? Paris? You like comedy?”

Loved him as the grocery-store manager in The Wrestler. I’ve had bosses like that in the past. The retail world is more difficult than any job in media. The worst. I worked with one boss at a record store in suburban Maryland who used to trade CDs for blowjobs. Best boss I ever had. Maybe the only good one. He was later shot to death at a party. The killer got six years. The name of the record store was Kemp Mill Music. Anyone from the Maryland/Virginia area? If so, email me. I have more stories.

I really find Tig funny. Very dry delivery. Kind of reminds me of Jake Johannsen, another comic I like.

Reminds me of one of my favorite comedies, “Used Cars.” Go rent it. And then go rent Jim Carrey in “The Number 23.” It’s a piece of shit. And then go buy my book to get that bad taste out of your mouth. And then go to sleep. It’s been a long day.